Brindle Media

Archive for the ‘Elder care’ Category

My mother was the first born child of immigrants. She was born Alice Della but has been referred to by her nickname, “Del” for most of her life. Mom’s mother was from England and her father from Canada. Except for a few months during World War II when she and my father lived in Washington state and California, she has always lived in Rhode Island. Mom was the eldest of five kids the youngest of whom she was frequently responsible for babysitting. I always thought that her parenting skills were honed during those days when she was taking care of her little sister and brother.

Mom grew up during The Great Depression and, like many others, her family struggled financially. When she was 15, my mother quit school in order to take a job in her uncle’s mill. I’m not sure how she felt about that but, as an intelligent young woman, I suspect that she wasn’t happy about it. Yet, I’ve never heard her complain about having to quit her education in order to help support the family. She felt it was her duty and she did it.

Mom was raised a Catholic but for reasons about which I’ve never been quite clear decided to leave the Catholic church and began attending youth group meetings at Trinity Union Methodist church where she met my father. Apparently, the pastor of the church, Harold Metzner was a charismatic man who had a great deal of influence on both my father and mother. I remember them both smiling in obvious enjoyment as they told my brother and I stories about the doctor and their adventures with the youth group. I believe he was the minister who married them.

Mom and dad met when they were 16 and it was apparently love at first sight. Except for the years when Dad was away during World War II, they were never apart. And they always seemed to enjoy one another’s company. Every morning that I can recall, Dad would stroll into the kitchen, bellow “Good morning, Alice Della!”, sweep Mom into his arms and give her an enthusiastic kiss. Her return kiss was just as enthusiastic. It was the kind of overt display of affection which provided a strong sense of security for an impressionable young boy like me.

Like any married couple, they’d sometimes quarrel or disagree often when Dad would take a detour down some unchartered route to see which way it might take us. Mom preferred the known to the unknown but I think that she secretly enjoyed Dad’s sense of adventure. Recently, Mom observed that they’d never had a fight. (Imagine how warped my perspective on married life was coming out of that environment!) .

As was normal in those days, Mom was a housewife. She didn’t even know how to drive. In fact, she didn’t get her driver’s license until she was in her 40s. However, when I was in elementary school, Mom became the first woman president of the Smithfield (RI) PTA. Smithfield was a small town and that was a big deal. My father was well-known in town because of his business activities and members hips in the Lions Club and Volunteer Fire Department but it also made me proud when I saw the respect with which teachers, school principals, and prominent members of the community treated her. My mother is not an ambitious person so I suspect that she was nominated for the PTA presidency by people who wanted someone in the position whose opinions they respected and integrity they trusted.

One prominent memory from my younger days is Saturday nights at our house. As the big sister and surrogate parent, Mom always hosted her younger siblings and their families on Saturday nights. Invariably, we males would congregate in the living room to watch TV and banter with occasional conversation. But I can still see all the women gathered around the dining room table to get my mother’s opinion. It’s not that she sought to impose her opinions on them but that they seemed to value her insights and advice. My observation was that they always thought of my mother as well-grounded and a source of common sense. They trusted her opinion.

Dad died just after Thanksgiving in 2006. Mom just celebrated her 92nd birthday and still lives in the house where I grew up. After all their years together, it’s hard for her to not have Dad but she’s adapted well and has realized how self-sufficient she really is. With age have come some challenges but she is still surprisingly alert and present. Since I take after my mother and her side of the family, I find this especially encouraging!

I know that everybody feels this way about their mother but my Mom is a very special lady. I’m proud to be her son and especially pleased that I was able to bring a granddaughter into her life.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

Alzheimer’s disease is an affliction which we tend to think of as an old person’s disease.

But beginning this year, Baby Boomers will be turning 65 at the rate of 10,000 every day. Now, compared to 65 year olds of previous generations, the Boomer group tends to be much more active, agile and adventurous.

Nevertheless, it’s estimated that one out of every 8 Baby Boomers will develop Alzheimer’s disease and right now doctors don’t have any way to prevent it, cure it or slow down its progression. Today, someone in America develops Alzheimer’s every 69 seconds. By 2050, that rate is expected to increase to one every 33 seconds. Those are sobering stats especially considering the conversations that are going on in Washington, DC right now about the future of health care in America.

The Alzheimer’s Association has just released a study dealing with this issue. You can read and download “Generation Alzheimer’s: The Defining Disease of the Baby Boomers” by clicking on www.alz.org/boomers

The March 7th edition of Time magazine features a cover story about pain management and discusses how the new medical concept that chronic pain is a disease of the central nervous system is impacting the approaches that science and medicine are taking to help provide relief.
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2057269,00.html

Time also discusses non-pharmaceutical approaches using alternative treatments to ease pain including acupuncture and massage therapies. While reading these articles, I started thinking about about my daughter’s current project for her U.S. History course in which she’s researching PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and how it’s been viewed and treated in the context of various combat situations: The Civil War, World War I, World War II, Vietnam, Korea , Iraq and Afghanistan.

It also reminded me of a technique which I’d just learned about called “Tapping” which, in my admittedly primitive understanding, combines a mash-up of massage and acupuncture theories. “Tapping” is a term being used to describe EFT (Emotional Freedom Therapy) which was originally created by Gary Craig. This 19 minute video on the Stress Project site features vets from Vietnam and Iraq who suffer from PTSD and who have employed this therapy. I don’t doubt that you’ll be moved when you watch it.
http://www.stressproject.org/

EFT originator, Gary Craig retired in 2010 & transferred resources to the EFT Universe site. Craig warns about watered down or bastardized versions of EFT as “tapping” or “meridian tapping” therapies. You can see more details here.
http://www.eftuniverse.com/

The concept makes a certain amount of intuitive sense to me but I would need to explore it more fully. You can judge for yourself.

In the meantime, to quote Monty Python, “Now for something completely different”.

Digital media specialist and consultant, Shelly Palmer recommends that we fund PBS for just 3 more years and then cut them out of the budget. His argument centers around digital trends, not politics and whether or not you agree it’s an interesting read:

http://www.shellypalmer.com/2011/03/public-broadcasting-needs-three-more-years/

My parents began dating when they were 16 and, with the exception of the four years when Dad was away in the army, they were together for 72 years. It was hard to think of them apart. So when my father died just after Thanksgiving in 2006, we all thought that Mom would probably give up on life and move on to her heavenly reward. In February, my mother celebrated her 90th birthday and she’s still going strong. She’s still living in the house my parents bought for $ 6,000 in 1942, she’s independent and handles a lot of her chores and she’s got her wits about her. But, of course, we’re well aware that all of this could quickly change.

Meanwhile, one of our kids graduated from college last year who’s still living with us and we have a 15 year old whose college career is only three years away.

My wife has become our primary breadwinner while I’m in the process of transferring my skill sets into the world of New Media. And, like most other middle class families in America, we have our share of financial challenges.

So, I guess we qualify as a classic example of the Sandwich Generation.

If our scenario sounds similar to yours, you might find this article interesting:

http://tinyurl.com/m5vft3